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Neden Bardic Assoc.

Here you will find all pieces written/performed by nation members/petitioners.

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4 Days Before Nedensgiving

11/29/2017

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‘Twas 4 days before Neden Thanksgiving, and all through the castle,
There was so much prep to do it became quite a hassle

But the Neden boys shrugged it off because they didn’t care,
Why Neden Thanksgiving was there favorite Time of the year;

Dresden was attempt to help decorate with no magic
But his vision for the hall was simply tragic

And poor JB was impersonating Dresden mockingly
He was upset that the cannibal had to prepare all the broccoli

Siff was busy transforming into a Carny
While Naj prepared enough food for an Army.

Zodiark was helping and sticking to Naj’s plan
They both yelled at Gumbo for trying to use ground beef from a can

The Museum was being stock with the lords Finest treasures
To prepare a spectacle for our friends was the Neden Boys pleasure

Jayce was preparing coins for gambling tables
While Razmith secured trinkets for the auction that were straight out of fables.

Cabby was carting the boys from the hall to the store
Sir Blacky thought they had enough food But Rawlin insisted on more

Jean Baptiste was seasoning meat by the pound
He wanted Ditch’s help but he was nowhere to be found

Z was helping set up the hall and shop with his Monk Xabi really made some great stuff
now we sell more than just junk

The Casino was packed the Carnival too
Now the Neden Boys were running out of things to do

Nymbous thought they were being lazy and started to get pissed
Till Dresden showed the Lord they were almost done with their list

“What about the new games?” Nymbous Inquired “Museum and all the things the expect”
Dresden scaned the list “Check, Check and Check.”

What about desserts and where the heck was Duke Syruss?
He was busy sampling the cakes with his Brothers Tyruss and Vyrusss

The music was secure for the halls for the night And the tables were decorated just Right
They even cleared out a space so that their friends can all fight

The boys looked ready to put on the show
They only had 4 more days to go

With all the prep done the boys started to get friskey
So they broke out the cornhole boards And poured a tall whisky

I hope you are all excited for the food and the faire
Bring your charitable nature We’ll see you all there.

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Duke Syruss

6/5/2017

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No hair
Tabbard
4'6

Humble
Clever
And constantly working for peace

Dark One
Blue Rose
And the Centaur treaty plan
Oh my God, what a plan

Not as famous as Al O'Leary
Not a LORDY boy like Siff
But when boulders are hurling
just one man can take the hits

When there's war and all is hell Send in Duke Syruss!
He's the Neden Super duper hero man
Necromancer on the run Send in Duke Syruss
Oh, how I wish.. I was Duke Syruss..

Brown eyes
Firm hands
Nice legs

Clean shaved Body
Drinking his LTD
Look cool
Skin cream
and buttocks like he was eighteen
He's a ass kicking machine..

And he stares into the mirror
Flexing muscles in the night
And he says: "Boy, I think you're ready.. ..to protect some civil rights"

When there's war and all is hell Bring in Duke Syruss!
he Neden Super duper hero man

He plays beer pong with Cecil
And does shots with Daood
Oh, how I wish.. That I was Duke Syruss!

When he's sad he goes to funerals In unusually heavy rain
Large amounts of water in his face But that doesn't hide his pain
He breaks down just like sea elf And starts crying just like aarl

But I guess you can cry and still be a duke If your day job is saving the realms!

When there's war and all is hell Send in Duke Syruss!
He's a macho musclepumping.. Crying god!
If there's one man you should trust It is the O'LEARY-boy
Oh, how I wish.. That I was Duke Syruss!
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​IM A NEDEN BOY                                                                     By Sir Duke Syruss O’Leary

5/18/2017

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[Verse 1: Neden Boy]
I'm a Neden Boy from Neden land
living in my castle lovin life
I love fighting, sexin, and fine whisky
Give me to much and I’ll get frisky
I love Jamison but prefer LTD
And my lord like to beat me, Rippity dee
[Verse 2: Troll]
Stop right there I’m a nasty Troll
give me your Gold or Heads will roll
I notice you can stop lookin at my shoulders
There so big from throwin boulders
[Pre-Chorus: Neden Boy]
Oh noe! He's got the drop on me
But lucky I got a trick up my sleeve
[Chorus]
Stab! Stibbity Stab a stab Stab Stab Stibbity Stab
And I slice and I dice-put my dagger in your in your head
slish slash slice and he's effin' dead
[Verse 3: Wizard]
Stop right there or I’ll cast a spell
Turn you to a troll and send you to hell (eff you!)
Oh you Neden boys are so Frightning
you like fighting while I cast lightning
[Pre-chorus: Neden Boy]
Oh noe! I'ts the Wizard in dude.
What the hell am I gonna do?
[Chorus]
Stab! Stibbity Stab a stab StabStab Stibbity Stab
And I slice and I dice-put my dagger in your in your head
slish slash slice and he's effin' dead
[Pre-Chorus: Villager]
Well hello there I’m just a villager……
[Chorus]
Stab! Stibbity Stab a stab StabStab Stibbity Stab
And I sloce and I doce-put my dagger in your in your head
200 blow and he's scalped and' dead
[Outro]
StabStab Stibbity StabStab Stibbity Stab
STAAAAAAB!!!
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​“You’ll Always have boys by your side”                                      A true NEDalachian song about the struggles of Neden              By Duke Sir Syruss O’Leary

5/18/2017

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In the deep dark hills of Northern Neden
That's the place where I trace my bloodline
And it's there I read on a Tombstone Named Very
"You'll never leave Neden alive,"

O No one ever knew the true value of magic items
Till the boys from the Crystal hall did arrive
And they wage there war of some 2 point piece of armor
But they never left Neden alive

Where the sun comes up about 10 in the mornin'
And the sun goes down about 10 at night
And you fill your cup with whatever cider brew they're makin'
And you spend your life (with you boys) just having all the fun

Oh, our Lord took over at Feast of Creathorne
Where he look to his boys with such pride... 
He Said, "Won't you walk with me, to our Home we call Neden and you’ll always have boys by your side"

Nymbous set them straight and he made his boys go honest
Investing in Jean Baptists Jerky and the Casino to survive 
Siff he sold his socks and O'Learys made their cider 
Singing who needs magic items to survive

But the times they got hard apples stop a growin
And old Nymbous knew what he'd do to survive
He Armored up his boys
and he sent them magic item hunting
But they never left Neden alive

Where the sun comes up about 10 in the mornin'
And the sun goes down about 10 at night
And you fill your cup with whatever Whisky drink they're makin'
And you spend your life (with you boys) just having tons of fun.....
In the deep dark hills of Northern Neden
That's the place where I trace my bloodline
And it's there I read on a Tombstone Named Very
"You'll never leave Neden alive,"
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O NEDEN BOY’s- A Neden National Anthem                               by Sir Duke Syruss O’Leary

5/18/2017

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1 O Neden Boys! 2 Who hail from Neden land!
(Pause)
3 Ours is a bond of love no other can understand 1 With flowing cups (pause) 
2 that we see thee rise,
3 The True North strong and free! 1 From far and wide, 
2 O Neden,
3 we raise our glass to thee. 1 May we Keep our lord proud….. 
2 and on cloud 9….. 
3 as he rules these lands O Neden, we raise our glass to thee.
O Neden, we raise our glass to thee.

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"We Will Follow Him" - as performed by Dresden and Syruss

2/1/2017

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We Love him, We love him, We love him
And where he goes we’ll follow, we'll follow, we'll follow...

I will follow him,
follow him wherever he may go
There isn't an Whisky too deep
Or a massive undead army that can keep me away

I must follow him,
ever since he gave me My N
That near him I always must be
He's more than a Lord to me
He is my bestie

We love him, We love him, We love him
And where he goes I'll follow, I'll follow, I'll follow
He'll always be our true lord, our true lord, our true lord
Our true lord of Neden, of Neden, Of Neden

I will follow him,
ollow him wherever he may go
here isn't an event cost to steep
Or a massive arrow to the knee,
that can keep me away
Away from my lord

We love him, We love him, We love him
And where he goes we'll follow, we'll follow, we'll follow
He'll always be our true lord, our true lord, our true lord
Our true lord of Neden, of Neden, Of Neden

I will follow him,
follow him wherever he may go
There isn't an Whisky too deep
Or a massive undead army that can keep me away
Away from my lord
​
We love him, We love him, We love him
And where he goes we'll follow, we'll follow, we'll follow
He'll always be our true lord, our true lord, our true lord
Our true lord of Neden, of Neden, Of Neden
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Headin' to Neden (Neden National Drinking Song)

5/20/2016

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From Shady Falls,
to Crystal Halls,
to castles, tall and wide.
You'll never stand
another land,
once Neden's let inside.
The stories told
of brave and bold,
will leave you in denial.
The merriment
is time well spent -
feel free to stay a while!


CHORUS:

OH, I've severed my ties
I've packed up my sack
i've said my goodbyes
I'm not coming back
I'm headin' to Neden
The Green and the Black
I'm headin' to Neden
The Green and the black

Upon my chest
I wear the crest
the 'N' I hold so dear
will carry me
to victory
with Magic items near
so raise your drink
and never think
that you are not a friend,
just suck it up
and drain your cup
AND FILL IT UP AGAIN!


REPEAT CHORUS (X2)
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Getting nothing for Yule - Sir Syruss

5/20/2016

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"Dear Sir Syruss,

I am afraid I may have not been the best little adventurer this year. I may have:
3….2…..1...

Broke my sword on Kyntela's head,
hid a frog in sisters bed,
made fake currency out of lead.

Somebody snitched on me

I made Swoop eat a bug,
stole some gold cause I’m a thug,
peed on Malaki’s favorite rug

Somebody snitched on me

O I think that the Krampus will get me,
Sir Vawn thinks that my actions are bad.
O I think that the Krampus will kill me,
So my question is how do I handle that???????

O I won't get gifts from Father Yule,
Somebody snitched on me.
I’m sure the Krampus planned something cruel,
Somebody snitched on me.
Next year I’ll be going straight,
Next year I’ll be good just you wait.
I’d start now but it's too late,
Somebody snitched on me.

O I think that the Krampus will get me,
Sir Vawn thinks that my actions are bad.
O I think that the Krampus will kill me,
So my question is how do I handle that???????

Love,
Naughty not a Neden Guy"

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Those Bedlam Days - Jean Baptise

5/20/2016

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Do you remember the good years in Bedlam?
The blood flowed endlessly cold
The fields were a patchwork of corpses
The questers were never too bold
We'd turn villages into graveyards together
And averything round us was fine

Now the fae are well and there
is joie de vivre everywhere
Et maintenant we drink a bitter wine


Those Bedlam days we used to know
Where have they gone, where did they go?
Eh bien, raise your berets
To those bedlam days


Do you remember those adventuring parties?
The questors turned Bedlam's cuisine
there ashen, trembling faces
The grayest the realms has seen
It's funny but since we lost Mad Jack
We've gone to the other extreme
No-one comes to kill us now
We couldn’t scalp them anyhow
I even find I'm missing those hero's screams



Those Bedlam days we used to know
Where have they gone, where did they go?
Eh bien, raise your berets
To those bedlam days

It's funny but since we lost Mad Jack
We've gone to the other extreme
Perhaps it’s not all that bad
Perhaps the Rising Army is just as mad
And soon we’ll hear those entertaining screams


Those Bedlam days we used to know
Where have they gone, where did they go?
Eh bien, raise your berets

To those bedlam days


Eh bien, raise your berets
To those Bedlam days!
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Baby Fights - Jean Baptise

5/20/2016

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The realms was peaceful for a time
 The home of Tuilli, finest speaker of the nine
 He was famous as a bastard and he wore that title well
A hit with the kids and the denizens of hell
Now Neden was a questing town, loaded up with loot
And robbing it would be quite the bastard thing to do
Syruss found a letter, Neden will host a event next fortnight
And it’s called the Baby Fights

 So register early and don’t forget to prepay
Or you may miss the most gruesome event yet to date,
Tulli the bastard’s coming, the man will never quit
And he’s after Neden’s shi…stuff!

Now Neden’s well defended, but Tuilli had a trick
You see he’s well respected by all those under six
And though they have few spells, they are all awfully cute
And beneath those sparkling eyes is a cold hearted brute
So they came in droves, but the guards just let them pass
A few seconds later those guards just breathed their last
Tuilli knew he had a chance, he already knew he’d win
'Cause what monster kills a kid?

 So register early and don’t forget to prepay
Or you may miss the most gruesome event yet to date,
Tuilli the bastard’s coming, the man will never quit
And he’s after Neden’s shi…stuff!

Well the event was supposed to begin at dawn so it started at 12 of course.
All the questers were silent, not sure what was in store
They yelled “Tuilli come on out, beat us if you can.”
 And that was when the rattling sounds and the crying all began
An army of toddlers soon swarmed, 20 strong and 3 feet high
 Each of them had armor, and murder in their eyes.
They had the players surrounded, there was doubt on every face
But oh well, they already paid!

So sorceries to the front and let those javelins fly
When has ethics ever stopped us from having a good time?
Tulli ran away, so the armies disorganized
and you’re gonna win this fight

That's right!

[Guitar solo]


Now wipe the blood of your tabards and drink to forget
You just murdered a child, are you proud of yourself yet
Baptise will be busy, veal’s on the menu tonight
And you won the Baby Fights!
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